Tag Archives: cats

I Sleep With a Pistol

5 Jan



My cat Charlie stopped being a lap cat when he came out of his kitten stage. I’m lucky if I get to pet him now without him running away. I call him my little sailor — he spends his days licking at our bathtub or dipping his paws into the water collecting when I wash my face, and I can hear the clink! clink! of him licking at the metal part of the faucet all day. He walks around with the back of his head all spiked up like a punk rocker, wet to the touch. He’s a rebel. He’s interested in things that others like him aren’t. In other words, he’s like his mommy. 

One of my significant other’s two cats, Pistol, has become my new lap cat. He is fat, soft, and a beautiful shade of bluish grey. He cries and bangs at our bedroom door if he can’t get in to sleep with me so, much to the protest of my S.O., our bed has gone from being divided in half to divided in thirds. His chubby body holds the covers down and blocks me from pulling them over to my side, he spreads his paws on my face and arms and even tries licking them the entire night, but I happily allow him to take up space and overheat our bed.When his little bladder can’t hold itself any longer, he scratches at the door again, goes out to have a snack and visit the litter box, and then comes right back in bed. 

Pistol snores all day, even when he’s awake. They don’t sound like the snores of a dog or a person, but instead they are tiny little whistles and bubbling noises that remind me of the sound of coffee being made in the morning. It was that sound — that sound that so many classify as one of the best sounds in the world — that drew me to him in the first place.

So many people sleep with guns in their bedrooms because their minds are wired to be scared, paranoid or anxious. What’s wrong with me sleeping with a Pistol, then? While I sleep and have more and more terrible dreams, dreams of tsunamis and missing school deadlines and getting cornered by men in alleyways, my Pistol is there whistling his tune of love and positivity. 






Girl, Your Dino Feet Be Trippin’

7 Nov

When you’re single and not entirely hideous, the best thing you can do is learn to laugh at yourself. Or, better yet, entertain yourself. One thing that I love doing to pass the time is taking funny pictures of myself on my phone. That way, I have a method of reminding myself to stop being such a boring spinster and have some fun. If you are single and have pets, I highly recommend you include them in on such uniquely fun activities.


See? Look how much fun we're having!

While driving fifty minutes to work each morning, a commute that I will soon give up when I move into my own apartment and become poor after spending too much money buying cute things for my place at Target, I decided to entertain myself by singing in my car. I know everyone has driven by this kind of person at least once: the person who is not just softly singing or humming along to the song, but is full-on Mariah Carey-ing it–long, deep breaths for holding notes, a small smile to please the audience and that trademark little hand gesture that one does when hitting the high notes (I’ve experimented and, yes, it is impossible to hit those notes without making such hand gestures).

After four weeks of singing through all of the Sara Bareilles, A Fine Frenzy, Fiona Apple and Adele songs  I have in my iPod, however, I came to the shocking realization that I was bored yet again. So, I decided to take it to the next level. You know how NPR has those awesome Tiny Desk Concerts ? Well, me and my Chevy Aveo hatchback have our own little Tiny Car Concerts going on.  That’s right: I sing my songs acoustically now. If I’m really bored, I’ll even add my own twist to a regular song. The only time this has gone terribly wrong was when I tried to sing a slow and dramatic version of Katy Perry’s “Hot and Cold.” I was on my third caffeinated drink of the day and feeling highly ambitious. Never again.

I think I’ve heard the whole “You have to learn to be your own best friend” thing a million times but, after graduating, starting a new job and becoming a west-sider for the first time in my life, I must say that there is some sense in this worn-out saying. Singing and taking funny pictures is something the entire Japanese population does, like, every day, and so why the hell can’t I? Going out and getting drunk with people only is fun so many times. Yet it’s the times when you are forced to be alone and entertain yourself when you realize what an interesting and creative person you can really be.

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