How I Spent My New Year’s Eve Weekend

It’s almost 7pm and I have just finished eating fish sticks and watching Thoroughly Modern Millie on YouTube. To many that would seem pathetic but, to me, it is yet another reminder that I can find entertainment in just about anything.

Take this weekend, for example.

Friday nights are usually pretty quiet for me now that I’m out of college and away from friends. In order to compensate for a lack of a social life, I did what any normal girl would do: I snuggled with my cat and watched Mansfield Park on Netflix. The worst part? I laughed more while watching that movie than I have with any movie I’ve seen in a while. I have always loved Jane Austen but was once again reminded of how witty and brilliant her form of storytelling is. Although I am sure many would disagree with me, I think Fanny Price is such an amazing character. I identified with her focus on entertaining herself through writing, her sarcastic view toward society and male suitors as well as the fact that she so eagerly tried to protect her heart. As she says in the story, “Run mad as often as you choose but do not faint.” Damn straight, Jane Austen!

My New Year’s Eve began with me researching how to properly open a champagne bottle on YouTube. I received a free bottle from my employer and had the brilliant idea of a quiet night in drinking mimosas and pigging out on Chinese food. No part of that plan went well.

I had heard about this amazing Chinese restaurant toward the more ghetto-y end of Cleveland that made delicious, homemade Chinese food. I had avoided any takeout for about three months and, in an attempt to treat myself, went all out and ordered a General Tso’s combo platter and a three pack of crab rangoon. Ten minutes later, I found myself standing in front of a Chinese restaurant decorated with graffiti. I actually had to knock on the door to be let in. That’s how ghetto it was. As I walked inside, I was greeted by what seemed like an entire Chinese clan just standing around and staring at me. The young man working the counter was so awkward and shy that he continuously lowered his head and looked down while I tried to make conversation as the food was being cooked.

“Which order did you have?” he asked. “The #22 combo with the crab rangoon,” I said in the direction of his reverently lowered head. His face broke into a grin as he said, “Ahh yes, the BIG order!” Thanks for making me feel like a fatty, awkward Asian dude.

I raced home and was so excited to dive into some legit Chinese food. As I opened the box, the first thing I noticed was not the homemade egg roll nor the delicious smell wafting into the air but, instead, the long strand of black hair lining the inside of the box. Being the reptard that I am, I flicked the hair away and decided that it hadn’t technically touched the food so maybe I was okay. As I was eating, though, I had a sneaking suspicion that Mr. Black Hair and I would soon meet again. I was right: he was also hiding in the crab rangoon. Disgusted, I tossed my entire $10 dinner in the trash and proceeded to cut my hand while opening the bottle of champagne. I guess watching five YouTube videos wasn’t enough.

Lastly, I spent the evening with a friend whose boyfriend was working until 1am at a pizza shop. We ended up meeting him at Marco’s Pizza and watching the ball drop there. That’s right, I spent my New Year’s eve in a pizza shop.

I would have much rather kissed this little guy on NYE. And, yes, he actually did fall asleep like that.

My weekend culminated with a slightly awkward but not too horrible first date with a guy that I met on OKCupid. I’m not sure where it’s going to go but I’m not entirely excited about it, which is probably a bad sign.

Until I find someone that I’m actually attracted to (which is a feat in itself), I suppose I’ll be happy eating my fish sticks, watching musicals and cracking up during Jane Austen movie adaptations. Life could be worse!

Prince Charles

It’s official: I’ve fallen in love with a member of the opposite sex and he is 100% my type. He can be playful and adventurous when he wants to be, but he’s also the kind of guy who just loves snuggling and fondly touching you in inappropriate places. I met him online and, I know this is crazy, but he moved in with me after just a week.

In case you haven’t figured out that a situation like this is highly unlikely for me, I’ll spell it out: I have a kitten.

Little Charlie

A few years ago, my mother revealed that she had been absolutely terrified after she had me (her first child). She confessed that she made my father change my diapers because she had never done it before. At the time, I had laughed and her and said “Come ON, Mom. It’s a baby. It’s so easy.” Man, was I wrong. I had waited forever to have my own place and my own cat, and the moment I had little Charlie, a 9 week-old kitten, in my car, I immediately began freaking out. I realized that, for the first time in my life, I was 100% responsible for the life of someone other than myself. I then proceeded to leave him in my car for ten minutes while I ran into PetSmart to get a litter box. Ten minutes in to taking care of a small life and I was already abandoning him. Go me!

Two days ago, I went into a Walgreens and asked for my items to be triple bagged. The cashier looked at me oddly and muttered “Okay…”. I leaned in and said “Trust me. I need them for my kitten. He poops. A LOT.” Suddenly I have become one of those people who talks about their pets, including their bodily functions, openly in public. I’m not embarrassed in the least (which somewhat worries me). What worries me even more, however, is the fact that my mother has begun referencing Charlie as her “grandson” to others. Poor woman.

Nevertheless, having a kitten has been a great experience so far. It’s great to come home to the cutest little tuxedo cat that I’ve ever seen, and it’s been incredibly awesome having a little warm fuzzball fall asleep on my lap on such cold winter nights. Currently we are in the midst of completing the Millenium trilogy (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series) on Netflix. Don’t worry– I’ve covered his eyes during the more adult scenes.

Expect more interesting (and probably more well written) posts soon! I hope everyone has a happy holiday.

Also, if you’ve ever wondered what my voice sounds like, head over here to listen to me reading two of my most recent blog entries at this amazingly awesome girl’s Tumblr, Simply Spoken Word.